well-
today was a better day I think. I made a decision today that I would not turn on the t.v. at all.....
I had a meeting with my doctor yesterday, and she said I was showing a few signs of early depression. She recommended I see a counselor....
I started thinking, she is probably right on the money. I have been sitting here in north carolina, without my husband, or really anybody to talk to, with no place to really go, no money to spend, and two dogs that drive me crazy. On top of that, I have been sitting on the couch doing NOTHING except watching tv.
So- today, I decided to keep the tv off all day and find other constructive things to do. And I feel a LOT better.
I started with the guest room, finishing up what needed to be done in there. It was a disaster so that kept me busy for awhile. I washed the sheets and put them on the guest bed, and put my glass china cabinet together with all our knick knacks in it... So that leaves only a handful of things to do in the house before we are completely unpacked and settled. One step at a time i guess. I read some of my book 'i dont have enough faith to be an atheist'. I got the book from a church friend of ours in savannah- Steven. He and his wife kimberly hosted a small group that we went to for bible study. They are both really awesome people, and I was almost ashamed to admit to kimberly that I had to turn my dvd 'friends' off because i have been watching it so much that i MIGHT be getting all 'friends' out....
anyway, the book is really good. Its a bit on the higher reading level, so it takes me a little longer to read because sometimes I have to read a paragraph 3 or 4 times to totally grasp the concepts. but, on my journey to become closer to my lord and savior, the book is really helping. I would recommend it to anyone searching for answers about God. Feel free to do your own research, but you gotta start somewhere, and this book gives lots of facts and details and very good arguments for God.
It feels nice to get into something intellectual...yet another good reason i kept the tv off today.
Earlier in the day, I gave our lab a bath and tried to brush some of the hair out of her coat. I think i brushed her for about a half hour before her bath, then brushed her for about 10 minutes in the bath, then dried her off and brushed her again, and she is still shedding EVERYWHERE. I have been vacuuming every other day or so, and our vacuum doesnt have a bag it has a container for the dirt, and so i can see all the hair I pick up... and even vacuuming every other day or so, the canister is usually always full by the time Im done.... and I know they say brushing helps, but really, I think brushing is just making her shed more. Like- when you pick out a grey hair and 10 grow in its place.... like that, except 1000 grow in one hair's place on my dog.....
Anyway, as far as the depression thing goes, Its nothing serious.. my doc just wanted me to get checked out before the baby is born so that it doesnt turn into post partum despression.. because that is the dangerous kind. And, Im really thinking it's just because im brand new to this area and need to meet some people. Once I can talk to actual people on a regular basis, I am sure I will be fine and dandy. I did make my first appointment with a counselor though, and she let me talk the WHOLE hour, and when I got done, I felt like a HUGE weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Like I said, I think it was just being able to have a conversation with a human being other than the cashier at the gas station.
Plus, I know that my hormones are playing a part in my mood. Let me tell you, out of all the rollercoasters I have ever been on, this one sucks the worst. At least on a real rollercoaster you can see the downhills coming and you can hold your breath or prepare yourself... This emotional ride Im on, leaves no room for anticipation. Its up and down on a dime and you cant see it coming! If you have been preggo you understand, if you have never been preggo, ur lucky! :P
On a couple lighter notes tho,
first, I have ELEVEN sprouts!!!! WOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so friggin proud of myself! Only the beans so far have poked out, but they are growing really fast and they are already getting BIG! I am so happy!!! This garden was such a great idea. (shout out to sarah rice for the idea ;) ).. thats another thing i did today, was get out in the sun and tend to my little seedlings. and it just feels so great to see what i accomplished so far, and be out in the sun and nice weather. I cant wait till I can get a bean off one of these little guys!!
Also- I leave tomorrow for GA for the weekend. I am pretty happy about making the trip too. My baby shower is on Saturday, and Im just really happy that I have such awesome friends who want to do this for me. I feel really lucky.
All in all- today was the best day I think I have had since trent left. I felt really good and I can only hope that it stays this way.
Night everyone!